Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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