took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
