babies were throwing up all over the place
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
