It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
