it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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