he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
