Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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