i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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