Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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