She is in my trunk
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
