worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
