He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
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He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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