Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
my liver is dry heaving
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
