Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
