I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
