you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
