i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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