I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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