Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize