What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
