I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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