we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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