We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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