I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
