batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
