I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize