don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize