I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
