I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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