It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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