so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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