The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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