Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize