oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
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I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize