just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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