you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
