I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
