I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
