I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize