he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
