But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We left the knife in your bed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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