This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
