After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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