It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How external is "for external use only"?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
