Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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