we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
