i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
