I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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