Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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