I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
