Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the condom got lost in my hair
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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