So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
