tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
