sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
