too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
