I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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